There Is No Time: NaBloPaMo Day 2

It's 9:05pm. My 9 month old daughter is awake. She's always awake. Always. I don't know how the child functions on so little sleep. She wants me near and wants to nurse and loves to snuggle. And that's ok. But man I'd love for her to sleep.

So she's up with me right now while my toddler is sound asleep and my husband is studying for his real estate test at his parents house.

It's hard to formulate thoughts to paper, or in this instance computer, when you have a baby crawling and squealing and crusing all the furniture. And pulling on my legs and wanting my snacks (she's not getting my potato chips, sorry kid). It's hard to formulate thoughts in general with children haha. And did you read above? She. Never. Sleeps. So what does that mean? Mommy never sleeps.

It's hard. It's one of the hardest things I've ever dealt with. Literally. If you don't have children or you have those magical unicorn babies that just LOVE their sleep...you have no idea what I'm talking about. And you're probably sitting here shaking your head in disbelief that this is the hardest thing I've had to deal with. But until you've been surviving on a mere 3 hours of broken sleep a night, if you're lucky, then you have no idea. It takes a toll on everything. Just basic functions after a while seem unbearable. You're emotional. You don't talk to your spouse anymore because everything comes out in a yell. Because you're just so damn tired you want to close your eyes and sleep for a week. Or two. Or five.

But. I love her. And I get to spend time with her alone when she wakes and I get a ton of extra baby cuddles. I'm never lonely lol. And though it's incredibly annoying at times and I find myself yelling in the middle of the night "WON'T YOU JUST SLEEP?!"...once it's over, it's over. Wishing away this means she's older and more mature and able to sleep on her own which will be amazing, I know. I really truly know, but it'll be later. Wishing away her clingy stage she's in now means that she'll be past a year old and I will no longer have an infant.

Most people won't understand that. The absurdity of what I'm saying. Yes I want to sleep and yes I want to have a conversation with my husband again that doesn't end in "Oh she's awake again, see you in the morning" but I also look at my near 3 year old and wonder when she got so big.

So tonight I'm not blogging about the prompt from BlogHer. It was:
"Who invented your most beloved family recipe? Tell us about the cook. Did you ever get to meet him or her?"
If you read my post from yesterday you already know the answer to that :-)

Good night.