I did escape. After the baby woke up I laid in bed with her for about 25 mins while she cooed and made silly baby sounds. Alivia was surprisingly still asleep so I told Dustin I was going to run out before she woke up. It's much easier to leave the house when she is sleeping. She never wants me to leave. She tells me so every day. Even days that I'm home all day with her. "Mommy I don't want you to ever go anywhere". haha :-) it is sweet.
The moment I start thinking about leaving the house several thoughts run through my head. All the places I can go, where should I go, what should I do? Oh the possibilities. I'm a stay at home mom now. I'm used to working. To going. To always having something that needs done. And that's still the case but now it's all centered around my family so when I get a chance to run free what do I do?
Here's a sampling of what goes through my mind while I'm getting dressed to leave:
I'd like to finish my book. I really should finish it. The library would love to have it back. They keep sending me emails about Bobby Joe down the road who's waiting for the book. I'm sorry Bobby Joe, it's taking me 18 times longer than it used to to finish a book. OK. I'll go to the library and I'll finish the book there and then I'll return it while I'm there. Yes, that's what I'll do.
I should bring my laptop, though, too. What if I want to write something. Or sort through my 5,867 pictures that are taking up space on my computer. That would be a good idea. It's hardly functioning at this point it's so full of pictures. But if I bring my laptop I'll need to bring my external hard drive too so I can pull pictures on to there. That's a lot of stuff to bring. Maybe I'll just bring my book and my laptop and then I can wander around the library for a bit. I can look at all the books. I'm rarely at the library with out 1 or 2 children with me so it'll be nice to walk around by myself.
OH books! Maybe Barnes and Noble! YES! I love new books. OK, that's where I'll go. I'll take my library book to Barnes and Noble and I'll read it there and then I'll stroll through the aisles looking at all the new books. And planners. I love planners. I'm terrible at using them but I'm really great at buying them. It does take me forever though to pick one. I'd hate to spend my whole time away from home trying to pick a planner to buy. Wait, I don't need a planner. Stay away from the planners.
Maybe I'll go to Starbucks. I can sit and read and have my half-caff americano and I'll read my book. And I'll take my laptop.
Oh and I'll bring my head phones in case I want to watch a couple YouTube videos, I have a few I'd like to catch up on.
Wouldn't it be nice though to walk around the mall?! I could do that. It's so far away though. The baby needs to eat every 2 hours. It'll take me 45 mins to get there and 45 mins to get back. That's hardly worth it. And I don't have any money so I should stay away from the mall.
Is it too early to go to the bar? A glass of wine would be nice.
I'd like to look at the trees again in the mountains before they stop changing colors. A nice drive up to the mountains without a screaming baby in the back. Wait that's too far away. Maybe this week we can drive back up there again. I heard that Vail has some incredible golden trees right now. Yes, I'll ask my family about going up on Sunday to Vail so we can see the trees. Oh yeah and I want to go back on that hike again to Lair 'O Bear, but that has to be on a Wednesday because the castle is closed on weekends. So Wednesday. I need to ask my mom if she'd like to go on Wednesday with us.
We also need to plan a trip to Anderson Farms to pick out our pumpkins and take the girls around the farm. OK, that's it. I'll go to Barnes and Noble and I'll bring my planner and I'll plan out our month of October with places we should go and things we should see. There's a lot going on this month. It'll be good to get it all down on paper. Oh,...I left the house without my planner. That's ok. I have my lap top. I'll just put it on Google calendar.
Well if I'm going to plan I should do my meal planning for the week too. And we need groceries. So I'll just plan out our meals and then make a shopping list and then later today I can go shopping with the girls.
Is that really how I want to spend my time though? Meal planning? Ugh.
...I'm not even kidding. Please tell me I'm not alone in this. There's probably more but I just can't even think about it right now. This is almost constant though. Whether I'm leaving the house or not I'm always thinking about what needs to be done, should be done, can't be done, will be done, when will any of it be done. I'm working on it. When playing with the girls I'm a lot better about just being there mind, body and all. Just there. But it's not long before my mind starts wandering again.
So where did I end up you may ask? Where did my great escape of 2 hours take me? Let me tell ya...
I drove to Barnes and Noble. Then decided I'd grab something at Target to eat at B&N so that I wasn't spending so much money on breakfast there. I got to Target at 8:01...they open at 8 thank goodness. Target is a black hole my friends. Really. I'm serious. And they have this magical pull once you get inside the doors that says "you must wander through all the aisles...even the fishing aisles. You don't fish. But go, look, lose 15 mins of your day". Actually it appears that this magical pull has a much further reach than the front door because I was parked at BARNES AND NOBLE......
What did I get?
So I go back to Barnes and Noble. And they don't open until 9. What the hell? Do they not realize the thought process it took me to get there?! So I'll go to the library. But I'm starving. So I stop at the Krispy Creme that's forcing their fatty doughnut smell all through the shopping center. (at this point I also contemplate walking around World Market but somehow stop the thought before my legs can take me there). So I go in and get myself a free doughnut and start to head to the library.
....they don't open until 9:30. See maybe I should add to my empty planner the opening times of all these places. Then next time my random thoughts will know where I can actually go.
So Starbucks it is. It's 9:11 right this minute. And what have I done the entire time I've been here?
This. This post. This rambling, weird, jumbled up post. I bought a coffee and a bagel. The bagel is still in the bag and the coffee...well the coffee I'm drinking black which I don't usually do but I bought this new cup here because I thought it was cute and I can't get the damn lid off. Which I knew before I bought it because as I was deciding to buy it I attempted opening the lid and couldn't. The barista told me it's because it's new. So they filled my new cup up with my coffee and put the lid on and I can't get it off. And some older guy laughed because I couldn't open it...thanks buddy.
Anyway...I need to head back home now because the baby needs a nap and she won't go down for Dustin. I know this because he's texting me right now telling me so.
Here's my book. I brought my book.
You're not alone in this! Stopping by from Blogher NaBloPoMo. Hoping to really post every day next week. I've managed to do 4 posts so far this month. Here's the latest http://mymiddletonchronicles.blogspot.com/2015/10/telling-myself-what-i-want-to-hear.html
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I'm not alone! Thanks for easing my fears Wendy :-)
DeleteHey 4 posts is better than 0! I'll be sure to check out your posts as well!
Thanks for the comment!
ROFL!!! Wait until they are teenagers...then your blog will read something like this: Get kids A, B, C up for school. Argue with B that they most likely do not have the dreaded strep/migraine/fractured toe---itis that everyone at school has had. Drive A & C to their respective schools (which are miles apart). Go back to encourage B to GET UP! Field frantic call from A and grab forgotten lunch/gym suit/ homework (the forgotten trio) rush to school as it is apparently a life or death issue (it's not but A is a bit dramatic). Grab groceries (you have about 15 min's before B starts calling to complain about the weird pink spots on their tongue and that they probably won't be going to school all week). Run to B's school (which is miles away) to grab homework that won't be touched and reassure teacher that you're confident the black spots B was seeing last week are not fatal. Grab McD's breakfast (healthy went out the window years ago) have phone conference with C's teacher while in line, assure teacher that you have never made your children eats Toads & Dandelions for dinner (wonder how long that takes to make) and that yes, you will speak with C about not making up stories (although you are secretly proud of C's creativity). Rush home to find B deeply engrossed in XBox. Encourage B to do homework, listen to the 12 reasons why it won't get done as B scarfs down McD's and returns to XBox. Start to load dishwasher (the house looks like circus spent the night) take frantic phone call from A who needs a sailors outfit for tonight's dress rehearsal for the play (what play???) and a real sword would be cool to go with it (everyone else has one) and Mrs. Perfect Teacher thinks homemade costumes are so much better than the store bought kind. Whip up costume, bang shin on open dishwasher door (twice) make 3 trips to Walmart where you cheat and buy most of the costume but since it took you 3 trips you are so going to tell everyone you made it (cut manufacturers tags from clothing) run dog to the vet, stop at car wash and clean dog vomit from back seat, take a quick shower and get ready for play, listen to the 28 reasons why B (despite near death earlier in the day) HAS to go to band practice tonight, everyone has to be there, and can you pickup everyone on the way, make two trips back to house to claim entire sailer costume, drop B and everyone off at school, take 4 calls from C who would must have four friends spend the night because someone broke up with somebody and nobody can make it through the night without a sleepover (when you point out they are 12 and therefore are to young to date you are hung up on) call back and leave a voicemail that you do not appreciate being hung up on and that you will be there to pick up C after volleyball practice, receive text (we apparently aren't speaking now) reminding me volleyball is at the school on the other side of the universe and the bus won't be back until 9:00. Drop B and everyone at band practice (listen to assorted complaints/jokes about funky smell coming from back seat and why is it wet) dash to A's school where you find out the play isn't until next month...hours later, as you are laying in bed, finally dozing off you feel a nudge on your shoulder, it's A looking cute and cuddly in PJ's (is this a good night kiss, a hug, an I love you mom?) "Mommy, my head hurts and my throat...and I think I broke my toe."
ReplyDeleteOh well, it was probably the Toads & Dandelions we had for dinner.
:-)
DeleteI knew I got my bug for writing from somewhere!
xoxo